Fair Warning: this post is about 4.1 years old, so some of the information might be a bit dated. On the other hand, this post was last modified about 4.1 years ago, so maybe it's up-to-date after all. In any case, please keep all this in mind while reading. Thanks for understanding!
A Quick Diversion:  

The Actual News:

Happy Birthday to Me!
Happy Birthday to Me!
Happy Birthday Dear… Me…
Happy Birthday to Me!

Tee hee! Yes, today it’s my birthday. I am finally 38! Now I can vote and legally buy cigarettes! … Well, I mean, I could ALWAYS do that, at least since turning 18 about four… five-ish years ago. Yep, the year 2000 was only five years ago, and definitely not any longer. That said, I can also do all sorts of other things adults take for granted! Like, I can buy beer! … Nah, I won’t do that. Mostly because I’m actually all out of beer money. Does anyone want to buy me some beer for my birthday?? Sierra Nevada will do just nicely. :D

…

If this post looks familiar to some of you old skool PA! folk, it’s only because I based it off the post I made for my 18th birthday, back on October 20th, 2000… which, as far as I’m concerned, was only 5 years ago. … IT WAS ONLY FIVE YEARS AGO!!

…

So… for my (18+5)th birthday, I went and bought myself a new Nintendo Switch Lite. Why buy a second Switch when I already own one? Because now I can finally hack my other Switch while ensuring that I still have one perfectly normal and vanilla Switch for when I want to play online games or something. Yay!

Anyways, I hope you enjoy the rest of your day! And hopefully don’t notice the fact that this post was made four days after it says it was made. Nope, not at all.