A Quick Diversion:

​Hey! Look what’s back! Yep, it’s the classic “A Quick Diversion” section, as seen on all classic PA! posts from the classical classic era… of classy classicness. I finally figured out how to add in the “A Quick Diversion” sections using the Pods plugin… but more than just that, I also figured out a way to make it optional, such that it doesn’t ALWAYS need to be included in every post, just only if I (or any future news buddy) wants to use it. EZPZ, huh?

Now with that out of the way, it’s June 17th, and so… IT SHALL BEGIN…. SOOOON.

… And by that, I mean I’m downloading the Isle of Armor DLC for Sword/Shield, which is pic related on the right.


The Actual News:

Oh boy! New release day! ...kinda. Did you see the "Pokémon Presents" video? If you haven't, here's a handy link:

There's a few things to go over about this video, not much, but still enough to fill a news post on a Pokémon fan site. Kinda like this one! :D

Anyways, here's the breakdown:

This is a cute little game for little kids. Plus it's free, lacking any in-game ads or purchases, so that's definitely worth it for some parents. Which is great too cuz we're definitely in the days now where parents are getting their kids hooked onto the same franchises they fell in love with, kinda like how my Dad got me into the Beatles and Kraftwerk and John Waters movies.

That said, I don't remember being combative about having to brush my teeth when I was a kid. But maybe that was because I was a good little boy to my mommy and daddy, and not a little monsters like the terrible kids in this video. MONSTER THEY ARE! YOU WILL SUFFER HORRIBLY IF YOU DON'T BRUSH YOUR TEETH!

...or so I've heard.

I'm huge into puzzle games, but for some reason I never could get into any of the Pokémon-branded puzzle games. Stuff like Pokémon Shuffle, Pokémon Trozei, Pokémon Gabbagabbahey... I dunno, I never took to them. And Pokémon Café Mix doesn't seem to be any different. It definitely seems to be intended for the Candy Crush crowd—which I also never got into—so I don't blame Nintendo for going where the money might be.

Of course I'm willing to give anything a try just to know what it's all about for a fact instead of making assumptions about it. Like this game might unlock a new love of chaining swirls together for extra points. But, naw, I'm not so easily moved by something as vapid and shallow as connecting eight Togepi together... eight Togepi which got me a 2x multiplier... but I would've gotten a 4x multiplier if I just had connected two more Togepi... but this stupid game didn't give me those two more Togepi... screw you game I NEEDED THOSE TOGEPI FOR THE POINTS! Nope, you'll never catch me playing a game like this.

NEW POKÉMON SNAP! AAHAHAHFJGJHGJHGHJ HYPE MODE TO ELEVEN

I never owned an N64 back when it was fresh, so I never got to experience Pokémon Snap until I downloaded it for my Nintendo Wii. And I INSTANTLY fell in love with it. The most frustrating part about getting into it so late was that I missed out on the chance to get my Pokémon Snap pictures printed out at Blockbuster Videos! But at least the Wii version could transfer them to my SD card so I could print them out elsewhere.

So you can imagine my utter joy to learn that they're gonna release "New Pokémon Snap" for the Switch soon! I mean, I can already imagine the game features:

  • gyroscopic photography, where you can just aim your Nintendo Switch to take a picture a la your smart phone
  • photos saved to your system so you can post them on Facebook and Twitter
  • photos which can also be transferred to your computer so you can print them out on photo paper

The last one is even more awesome knowing that there is stuff like the HP Sprocket Portable Phone Printer, which kinda turns your smart phone into a Polaroid-esque camera (ie physical copies of photos near instantaneously)... so all you need to do is send the pictures to your phone and voila! Instant pictures from your Snap game! Who needs Blockbuster Videos anymore?? .... ouch, yeah, that was a bit of a low blow... sorry about that.

Meh.
I still haven't gotten into the raid battles yet... maybe because I don't have any friends on my Nintendo Switch that I can battle with at a moment's notice... but I might start up given this Zeraora challenge. Namely, if one million of us players play in the Max Raid Battle, we ALL get a Shiny Zeraora!

lol, as if that was ever going to be in doubt. I'm positive they'll get one million players playing TODAY.

Still, I'm gonna give it a whirl, at least for the free Shiny Zeraora.

Did I miss anything?

Speaking of the One Million Player Challenge, I found a clip of Tsunekazu Ishihara announcing it that was cut from the final video. Well, *I* didn't find it, one of my Nintendo insiders did. Y'know, the one who's uncle works at Nintendo? I've known him since we were in 2nd grade, and he's been totally reliable with his news. Take a look!

I'm done now. Go away.